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5 Things I Don’t Get (Today)

Please be as quiet as you can around here today. My brain is trying to sleep. On second thought, it’s pretty much in a coma so do whatever you want—bang some pots and pans, set off some fireworks—go all out.

In honor of my brain taking a vacation, I thought I would bust out another 5 things I don’t get…today (they’ve been fairly popular in the past—well, like the president of the chess club was popular with the chess club). If you’re interested in past entries, then click here and then click over here.

Anyway, I know you’re so excited that you can hardly stand yourself (that makes two of us! *ba dum cha*) so here you are and here is the list.

  1. An Email PS that says Please Consider the Environment before You Print This Email. I tweeted this yesterday and I got several good (i.e. sarcastic) responses on facebook, but I still don’t get it. My thought is that this male is trying to show all the chicks reading his emails that he is caring and sensitive. Here’s how I imagine him trying to pick up girls.
Girl: “Do you like the environment? I totally love the environment!”
Guy: “Oh yeah, I’ve been saving the environment for years with my little graphic that reminds everyone not to print their emails even though I don’t know anyone who would do that. You wanna go to the movies?” Foolproof.
  1. Happy Meat. I saw this the other day and was immediately disturbed. If anything could ruin meat for me, this comes close. Here’s the glorious picture—don’t say I didn’t warn you.
  2. Why More People Haven’t Seen the Movie, Big Trouble. Seriously guys, if you haven’t seen this movie, it is so funny in an oddball, absurd way. It was written by Dave Barry so you know it gots to be good.
  3. Why People Pray Superstitious Prayers. Let me explain this one. Superstition is defined as “a belief or practice resulting from ignorance, fear of the unknown, trust in magic or chance, or a false conception of causation.” There are people who think if they don’t pray over their food, they’ll get sick. If they don’t pray before they travel, they’ll crash. If they don’t forward those little emails, they won’t be blessed. I understand being watchful and alert, but we have to be careful we aren’t buying into something that isn’t true. God’s love, provision, and blessings aren’t dependent on us (my sermon for today). On another note, that riff from the Stevie Wonder song is so catchy…
  4. Why I Always Have to Write 5 of These. I mean, come on, don’t be legalistic. If you’ve only got 4 then write four. What, are you drawing on some kind of longstanding tradition of lists having 5 topics? Or is it because 5 is a prime number (shout out to my math teacher wife—hey baby!) and thinks it’s better than other ones? Sheesh, get over yourself, 5. You’re not the only number in town, you know.
There you have it! And I hope you’re happy, my brain is awake now—stupid, creaking floors—got to get those fixed.
You don’t often get an opportunity like this, but here’s your big chance: leave me a comment. Tell me something you don’t get (today) or talk about what I’ve mentioned here. The (stupid, creaking) floor is yours… so enjoy!

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