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5 Things I Don’t Get (Today)

It’s time for another edition of 5 Things I Don’t Get (Today).It’s time again for both me and you to unburden ourselves of the things that make no sense to us, drive us crazy, and/or make us scratch our heads in befuddled wonder.

As always, my Biblical precedent for this is Proverbs 30:18-19. I’m only trying to live my life according to the good book (while exercising a wee bit of the sarcasm *said in an inexplicable Irish accent*). These things are burning a hole in my pocket so I had better let them out!

  1. Why every scandal has to end with ‘gate.’ I don’t know why, but this is driving me batty.I understand that Watergate was a HUGE political scandal, but who decided that every one after that had to carry the -gate suffix? What’s even crazier is that people still act like they are being clever by doing this, as if they had stumbled onto something no one else ever thought of (“Zookeeper fell asleep and elephants got loose at the zoo? I’ve got it! We’ll call it ‘Elephantgate’–brilliant!”). If anyone cares about my sanity, please stop. Let’s all agree to adopt brouhaha for whatever comes down the pike next (it’s different and fun to say). See, I can be part of the solution.
  2. Why people comment on message boards that ‘nobody cares.’ I have admitted in the past that I absorb pop culture. I read entertainment news about movies, TV, music, etc. I like the behind the scenes look. If you go on these message boards, you will inevitably find (on almost every topic) someone who feels the need to say the article was a waste of time and the topic is stupid. The questions just keep flooding out: Are these people just looking for attention? Do they want to stir people up? Did a dingo eat their baby? What’s the square root of 274? What is the problem? Inquiring minds want to know.
  3. Why other people feel the need to address these comments. Then inevitably, you have the person who has mastered the obvious and asks them, “Why are you reading a story about The Office if you think it’s the worst show ever?” Reminds me of one of the landmarks of American cinema, Trouble, and an exchange about Gator fans. I involuntarily roll my eyes every time I see one of these displays, which consequently usually end of being 10 comments of back and forth “banter.” Somebody stop the vicious cycle! Just let them be– or send them a digital hug.  That would really make them mad.
  4. What Jesus is doing in a “Pants on the Ground” video. Thoroughly bizarre but pretty entertaining, Jesus is even auto-tuned! I still haven’t decided whether I’m supposed to be offended or not. You can watch the video here if you don’t mind a couple instances of mild cussing (not from Jesus thankfully).
  5. Why, after a move, things you need become invisible until you buy a new one. We’ve been in our house a few weeks now and no matter how practical and meticulous you are when you pack, you cannot find things when you get in there. This is not exactly a groundbreaking revelation, but it is intensely frustrating and very relevant to me at this moment. Perhaps the can opener thinks it’s fun and we’re playing hide-and-go-seek or maybe it’s just mocking me. Then again, maybe it hides until I go buy a new one so it will have a friend to keep it company.I don’t know, but it is a pain. Oh and by the way, can opener, it’s a dangerous game you’re playing so watch out!
Do you have anything today that is bugging you? Perhaps something is stuck in craw and you would like to free it?
If you would like to talk about it, I humbly offer this comment section.Also tell me if you can answer any of my questions or if you share my befuddlement on one or all these serious issues.

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