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7 Ways to Know You’re in the Wrong Church

laughI don’t know about you, but every once in a while I need a break from all the seriousness. I love devotions, encouraging words, even challenging ones–but I also like to laugh!

Today I wanted to offer something a little different. This list is partly something I read a long time ago and partly from my own twisted brain. And since 7 is a very spiritual number, I thought I’d give you 7 Ways to know you may be in the wrong church:

  1. There’s no cover charge, but communion is a two drink minimum
  2. The pastor preaches exclusively in Dr. Seuss-style rhymes (I do not like greed/lust so scram–I follow now the Great I Am!)
  3. The church bus has gun racks
  4. Church office checks your credit score as a requirement for membership
  5. Opening announcements, “The first rule of Fight Church is, you do not talk about Fight Church…”
  6. Services are B.Y.O.S. (Bring Your Own Snakes)
  7. The usher asks if you carry a gun and if you say “no” he hands you one

Hope you had a smile or a chuckle. A guffaw would be great, but I’m not gonna be greedy. 🙂

How about you? Can you think of other ways you might know you’re in the wrong church?


  1. 8. They sell Luxury Box options for Sunday mornings
    Jay Cookingham recently posted..Marriage EncounterMy Profile

    • Hmmmm, not a bad idea… No, no--I think God had something to say about stuff like that. 🙂 Thanks Jay!

  2. For me it would be the pastor wears a robe and you see a giant pipe organ.
    Bill (cycleguy) recently posted..FatherReduxMy Profile

    • Ha! I just see you walking in, looking around, and slowly backing out. 🙂 Thanks Bill.

  3. Thanks for the chuckle today, Jason! 🙂 Blessings!
    Martha Orlando recently posted..Autumn’s PeaceMy Profile

    • You are certainly welcome, Martha! Thanks and blessings to you!

  4. I had to laugh at your seven points because before attending a church in the jungle I could have added to your list. But I have seen some pretty crazy outward things in a jungle church that would not fly in the good old USA. But one that does come to mind is a suit wearing pastor with a huge, bigger then life cross hanging around his neck…and talks about the dreams all the time. scary..

    • I’ve been to several other countries and I’m always amazed at the different cultures, but it’s the same presence of God. It can definitely feel very strange at times though! Thank you, Betty.

  5. That was great! I love to laugh too, I think it’s one of the great gifts from God. I’ll have to think on another warning sign. I suppose if depends entry depends on the way you look or dress would count, but it’s not that funny since it’s still true in many churches…
    floyd recently posted..TRICKS OF THE TRADESMy Profile

    • Yeah, sad laugh to your comment because it’s so true. Some get so concerned about the outward appearance that they forget the people underneath. Dang, way to get serious again, Floyd! Ha! Thank you, sir. 🙂

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