Someone asked me a question quite a while ago and I asked them if I could answer it in a blog post. Until today, the idea had remained on the shelf, but I do hope to start a conversation about it here.
What’s the difference between living in faith and being in denial?
Many who don’t believe in God would quickly say there is no difference, but I believe when evaluated through both Scripture and experience, there is a very clear distinction here.
Denial is destructive and slows down the process. It masquerades as faith. Genuine faith is life-affirming, encouraging, and challenging. It will change us from the inside out.
Hebrews 11:1 tells us, “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.†If our hope rests squarely in God, He holds our faith and we move toward that bright destiny that can’t be seen with our natural eyes.
Doubt is sometimes regarded as the ultimate no-no, but doubt is 100% better than denial. At least it’s honest. Doubt will express it’s anger or questions. Denial will cover it up with some potentially powerful words of scripture that we have removed from the power source. It’s as if they hang there like a cord from an unplugged appliance.
Some Christians have pushed themselves and others to always maintain the right words. If you confess the good things and don’t acknowledge the bad, God will reward you. If it didn’t happen, then you must have slipped up once or twice and God won’t honor that. As far as I can see, that’s a theology of works in order to justify us.
It’s also called pretending.
You won’t look at the problem or acknowledge it’s there. It’s sort of like a child who sticks his fingers in his ears, “La la la—I can’t hear you!† You can say the “right†words over and over, but if it’s not connected to God, there’s no power to back it up.
Faith recognizes our lacks, problems, and limitations wholeheartedly but then presses forward to find out, “but what does God say about this?â€
In Romans 4, the Apostle Paul writes that the promise of God and His covenant was always based on faith not on keeping up with all the rules of righteousness.
I’ve always loved verses 19-21, “Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.â€
Abraham faced the facts that he was too old and so was his wife, but his faith looked beyond that and believed the promise of God. That believing was credited to him as righteousness and it resulted in a miracle.
He didn’t deny anything. He didn’t pretend that he and Sarah had no problems. He didn’t act like there weren’t some days that were hard to believe. Faith caused him to embrace all that lack and weakness and trust that the One who made the promise was faithful.
Denial may hold back the anxiety, fear, and pain for a while, but it can’t change a thing. Faith and trust in a merciful, magnificent God and His word in spite of the circumstances will produce miracles.
Denial undercuts faith and offers a shortcut to nowhere. It’s limbo and it will devastate us when our pretending everything is fine fails us. I’m a firm believer that the word of God works, but the Devil himself quoted scripture to Jesus so I’m thinking there’s more to it than that.
I’m glad I don’t have to pretend and live emotionally stunted in order to have faith. I can look my situation in the face (whatever it is) and say, “I can see you, but my God is bigger.â€
What do you think? Have you ever found yourself in denial but thinking you were showing faith? Have you noticed this difference in your life?
30 Comments
Jason: I am not sure I can add anything more than what you have stated (and stated very well). A picture of denial for me is the person sitting in a lotus position, saying their “oooommms” while everything is crashing around them, all the while saying, “All is right in my world.” No it isn’t! I can remember when my mom was going through a divorce (my dad wanted it) but she kept denying he had left saying, “He will return. I planted my seed of faith.” (Yes, she was into Oral Roberts hocus pocus). He didn’t. She did get divorced and finally admitted dad had his mind made up and no amount of seed faith was going to change that. I think of a lot of the word of faith movement is based on denial while claiming faith. sorry I got off on a tangent. Good post. Thanks for the insight.
Bill (cycleguy) recently posted..Input Needed
What a devastating story, Bill. The word of God works, but if all we can put behind it is wishful thinking or hiding, I think we’re headed for trouble. Thanks for sharing your story.
This paragraph is so powerful….”Denial is destructive and slows down the process. It masquerades as faith. Genuine faith is life-affirming, encouraging, and challenging. It will change us from the inside out.”
Faith will change us, shape us and conform us to His image. Denial will keep us as “us” and the only change may be bitterness when our “self-faith” betrays us.
Loved the truth you shared bro’…thanks!
Thank you! What an excellent point, Jay. Denial can change us too, but who wants bitterness and disillusionment to be in control? That’s a scary thought.
EXCELLENT post, Jason!
Perhaps the worst thing about denial is its deceit. Like you said, doubt is honest. Denial lies to Self, and calls God a Liar without inviting His rebuttal.
Anne Lang Bundy recently posted..Dare Mighty Things
Excellent thoughts, Anne. Thank you!
It’s also called pretending.
Dude, this is spot on.
Michael recently posted..On The Edge Of Me
Thanks Michael.
I think at times I may have been. But looking back and beating myself up for it doesn’t change anything. I just need to accept the lesson and move on…
Helen recently posted..The Green Police
Absolutely, Helen. I’ve pretended plenty of times, but God always seems to get hold of me and allows me to surrender it to Him. How amazing He is to give the grace to move on. Thank you.
Denial is fear and doubt wrapped in deceit-- first of self, then of others. It’s saying, “I don’t trust God enough to bring my fears and doubts to Him, so instead, I’ll just tell Him, myself, and the world that I don’t have any fears and doubts.” But you know what? You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all the time. And you can’t fool God at all. And God has this loving way of slowly, gently, patiently drawing us out of our denial. And that’s just another reason that He’s amazing and worthy of my love and trust.
A couple of scriptures came to mind this morning while reading this. 2 Peter 1:12 in the NKJV says, “For this reason I will not be negligent to remind you always of these things, though you know and are established IN THE PRESENT TRUTH.” (I love that phrase, “…in the present truth.” That’s where God calls me to walk.) And Mark 4:22 in the NIV says, “For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.” (He’s only going to let the denial last for so long. It’s for my best and for the best of His Kingdom to bring it out into the light. Regardless of the outcome of it coming out, it’s going to end up being a testimony of Him.)
Thanks for this discussion, Jason. Good stuff.
Sarah Salter recently posted..Breaking All the Rules
Those are great scriptures to add! The truth of Who He is is greater than whatever reality we’re facing and He’s in the here and now. Thank you Sarah.
Jason, I think you nailed it. Denial is ignoring what’s their, faith is accepting what’s there, but trusting the possibility of miracle.
herbhalstead recently posted..unrelentingpast
doh! “there” not “their”
herbhalstead recently posted..unrelentingpast
Thanks Herb. Don’t you just love homophonic words? If you say, ‘no’ I’ll know you’re in denial.
no
herbhalstead recently posted..unrelentingpast
I’m praying for you, Herb.
but I don’t need it
hehe
herbhalstead recently posted..unrelentingpast
This is so in line with what the Lord has been speaking to me. I loved your words:
“Faith caused him to embrace all that lack and weakness and trust that the One who made the promise was faithful”
Denial may feel like a comfortable place to live, but it isn’t. It may let us convince ourselves that we are holier than others to live without doubt, but it also leads us to not live “real lives” with others.. and it is that “real life” that will draw people to the only One Who can perfect our faith.
HisFireFly recently posted..Awe on a Sunday morning
Another powerful point, Karin! If we aren’t real with ourselves and God. We can’t be real with others. We end up callous to the suffering around us because we are so full of “faith” that we won’t tolerate their doubt.
Excellent thoughts--thank you!
I agree with Bill.
You two lads, you and Herb, made me laugh today. Nuts! Totally nuts! I’m not even denying it. Maybe I’m too honest. Still you both are weird and certainly pleasantly disturbed. And the crazy thing is, I love it. No, still not in denial. Oh, this doesn’t mean I haven’t been in denial. I have. Running away from the truth. But the truth came back knocking at the door of my heart. Had to deal with it. Did it, together with God.
Bye bye.
I think that’s what is appealing to some. If you say the right things and never confess a doubt, God will change the situation. It’s trusting in a system or steps. It doesn’t require relationship or trusting God fully, but like you said, if we are walking with Him, He knocks on the door with truth and we overcome it together.
Also, glad Herb and I could make you smile today.
Thanks Ani.
Umm, yeah I meant with truth : Jesus. He kept coming back knocking at my door. And like you wrote God changed my situation and my heart and I finally accepted to open that door and face the truth.
Thanks. Who ever it was, he or she asked a great question. Oh, and I forgot to tell I like you mentioned “doubt”. A lot of my christian friends struggle with that. Like it’s not good to doubt. The thing is I’m not a thinker, they think a lot and start to doubt. But I love them WITH their doubts so I can’t believe God doesn’t love them WITH their doubt too. But people in the church tell them doubt is no good.
I forgot to mention this because I was laughing about you and Herb. Now, my second comment is longer than my first.
God isn’t afraid of our doubt (He’s not afraid of anything actually), and He certainly love us through it all! Thanks again, Ani.
I absolutely love this post Jason! This resonates with me in so many ways. You did an awesome job of distinguishing between faith and denial.
I just heard this acronym on denial recently. Denial is don’t even (k)no(w) I am lying.
Kevin M. recently posted..3 things Ive learned after 17 years of marriage
Thanks Kevin. I like that acronym. God is God so He speaks and it happens. He literally cannot lie. When we try to circumvent our situation out of fear or whatever, we are liars, plain and simple… Great thoughts.
I really enjoyed this. However, while it affirms me it also makes me question. I look at my situation head on and I know that I’m not in the place I want to be right now and I share that with GOD only and I hope that things change one day. I speak to GOD on the days when my faith is wavering about how I’m not giving up but it’s just a difficult day and I pray for extra strength. My friends don’t understand that I’m turning a corner in my life and I’ve made a promise to GOD and myself to stick it out through the hard times, put myself in GOD’s hands, and follow his direction. One of my friends asked if I was in denial and I just told him that I was exactly where I needed to be at this time.
You’re right, Nicole. It’s not always sunny and rosy. There are very difficult times. God can and does do the impossible. You stick to what you know is true in God’s word and lean on His grace. Friends try to help, but ultimately our trust always has to come to rest in the Father and His word. Otherwise, we end up in further heartache. Thank you for your comment.
Praying for you now--strength and joy in the midst of all you’re facing. May you see true victory as you stand for the truth-- in Jesus’ name. Blessings to you, Nicole.
I found this post because I googled “difference between hope and denial,” because I needed to make sure I wasn’t going crazy and just living in denial of my current situation.
My husband of almost 5 years wants a divorce. I don’t. I know that if he would allow God to guide us through this time, we would be able to reconcile. I just know. But I also really do not want to lose my husband, or my daughter to lose her dad in her life full-time. So I have worried that maybe my sense of feeling it could be ok was simple denial, and that he was really right that our problems were too big to fix.
Your post helped me to see that I am not in denial. I see now that I can feel hopeful about our situation because of my faith in what God could do to repair us and our relationship. Unfortunately, I cannot make him have that same faith, so that future is not likely for me.
It’s a difficult position to be in.
Thanks for your post.
Rachael, that’s heartbreaking to hear. You’re right--it’s not impossible and there’s no such thing as too big a problem, but only God can change hearts, not us. Keep praying. May God fill you with grace and strength as you keep leaning into Him. Whatever happens, God will work it to the good (as hard as it may be to see sometimes). Thanks for your thoughts and I’m glad you could find some encouragement here. God bless.