Choosing Not to Live on Rumors
I’ve had a couple of conversations lately where I mentioned the strange phenomenon that best as I can tell, happens in churches just about everywhere.
Here’s the basic scenario:
- A pastor loves and cares for a family for months or even years–prays for, counsels, visits, eats with, and builds relationship because he loves this family (most days, of course).
- Another person comes in and after a couple services has poisoned said family against the pastor, the leaders of the church, and/or the entire church itself.
- Family stops coming to services, returning phone calls, and you rarely hear from them again.
I can say that as a pastor it’s a devastating thing. I understand no leader or church is perfect and I have done my fair share of making bad or unwise decisions, but it always floors me that the opinion of someone you’ve just met can be more important to you than a relationship you’ve had for a much longer time period.
All this stirred in me again when I read this quote from Glenn Packiam’s book, Secondhand Jesus,
Ironically, it’s this fear of being wrong that causes us to entertain rumors. We’re afraid that others know something that we don’t, and we don’t want to be left in the dark.
This finally helps me make a little sense of the situation. A person is afraid that they’ve missed what a horrible, lying, conniving charlatan their pastor has been and so they listen with rapt attention as this new person who has known you for such a short time can build an airtight case against you while you aren’t there to defend yourself. Got it.
With me and others, imperfections plainly on display, it’s one thing. The sadder by far is allowing this to happen between you and God.
It happened to Adam and Eve in the garden. This smooth-talking serpent swooped in and played on their fears that God might be holding out on them and the rest is history. We hear these things constantly.
“He doesn’t want what’s best for you.”
“If He really loved you, you wouldn’t be going through this hard time.”
“God’s not listening. You need to just go after whatever will make you happy.”
Whenever your relationship is lacking (or non-existent), the enemy will strike. You have to be on guard. Glenn also wrote this,
Rumors grow in the absence of revelation. Every time we keep God at arm’s length, declining an active, living knowledge of Him, we become vulnerable to rumors.
Funny thing is, you can live off the rumors of God’s goodness for a while, but when the rumors of misconduct or anger start you won’t be able to resist them. Those rumors breed unbelief and striving and all kinds of evil, but when you embrace and consistently give yourself to pursuing a true revelation of Him, He will respond to your hungry heart.
What about you? How have rumors played a factor in your life or relationships with God or others? What happened as a result?
WOW! What a great post today jason! Rumors are something we, as pastor, have to live with it seems. While every other business man or boss can go to lunch with a coworker or secretary, we can’t. We are seen as “having an affair.” I despise rumors.
bill (cycleguy) recently posted..Weird
It’s so frustrating. I suppose we’re in good company though as Jesus faced the same garbage and accusations from the Pharisees and religious leaders. Those rumors are just so destructive though. Thanks Bill.
I’ve never doubted God and his word, But here’s the thing our Church here in Minnesota, has a lot of converts the last few years who came from a Catholic/Lutheran background. ( I’m not rocking them hard or nothing). The Last few years I’ve been teaching the realization of Jesus and what He wants for us as His Children, And not the rumors of Man and there thoughts in what God wants for his Children. Here’s some of the rumors they dealt with That God doesn’t care about your job, finances etc. God doesn’t care about your Education. At the beginning of The Year The Lord Spook to Me & My Family That its time For The Church to become Real and not fake like rumors.
That is it, Andrew. We have to be real and the only real I know is in Him! He is concerned with everything that concerns us. We don’t have to hide it or pretend we don’t feel it, we just lay our burdens on Him and He is mighty to save. Thanks so much.
Would love to say that I’ve never fallen for a rumor, but that would be a lie. I can’t think of an occasion that it’s affected a relationship, but I know that it probably wasn’t pleasing to God any of the times. I’m older and wiser and generally take anything I hear with a grain of salt now. Great challenge to not just go with anything you’re told.
Philip recently posted..A Believer Who Doubts
I hear ya. One thing that helps me too is taking what people say at face value even when they’re implying something else. It makes life a whole lot easier and you don’t get tangled up in the rumors and hearsay. I’m not 100%, but I definitely try to keep this front-and-center. Thanks Philip!
I think we’ve all had this happen to us, some more than others. I get bummed when it happens to me. I go out of my way to be above reproach and yet others will still believe lies. I’ve come to believe now it is, maybe not caused, but allowed by God to protect us from people that would end up doing us and our families great harm. I believe it is the hand of God protecting us. If a person is weak enough to be willfully ignorant, they are dangerous weapons in the hands of the enemy…
I understand what you’re saying, Floyd. At the same time, I grieve because so many get drawn away into more and more compromise. Not always but sometimes, there is a real covenant fellowship and bond that God allows to form and when it’s broken it’s not inconsequential. I definitely appreciate God’s protection, but I also cry out to God that they would see and respond to the truth of who He is and see things from His heart and perspective for their sake and everyone else’s. Thank you, Floyd.
Jason,
Awesome post. I feel you. Don’t know how many times I’ve experienced pouring into someone’s life (lives) as I beleive that I was led by Holy Spirit only to be slapped down by such events called rumors from others. Devestating to say the least. But I believe when this happens, that person who speaks the rumors of course is being used of the enemy and the one who listens and drinks of it is more than likely in a gray area or on the fence anyway. It doesn’t take much to push them in the direction of moving on. The same with God. If we have actually tasted of Him and His goodness, how can we be swayed by what others would SAY? I beleive it’s a matter of what’s going on in that person’s heart to begin with.
Sherry
Very true. I thought about after I wrote that sometimes the relationship is only or mostly invested in from the one side. I have loved, prayed for, cared for people and they don’t really have feelings one way or another about me! I know it’s not entirely that black-and-white, but you know what I mean. The more you have invested, the more devastated you are at the loss and vice versa. I can’t imagine what God feels when people walk away from Him. He has given everything and continues to bless and love in the midst of open disobedience and even hatred toward Him. What incredible love! Thanks Sherry.
Rumours/gossip are such destructive things! I have seen too many lives destroyed by them …
Kevin Martineau recently posted..3 steps to have peace
It’s incredibly sad. Thank you, Kevin.