Parenting books are amazing, but parenting books stink.
Why the ambivalence? Because though authors and experts have many great ideas and research to back up what they’re saying, these things can come off as one-size-fits-all approaches to parenting that can be confusing and/or harmful.
Kids are individuals and sometimes as a parent you’re going to look unfair. I don’t see any way around it because each of my kids has different personalities, abilities, needs, likes and dislikes… They are different and–forgive my crazy talk–my wife and I don’t treat them exactly the same, discipline them the same, respond to them the same.
We love them all equally and abundantly, but they have to trust us when we allow one to do something another can’t or discipline one with a punishment that wouldn’t work with another. They are individuals who are uniquely made by God. We have to treat them as such for them to flourish.
I wrote about equality from the human perspective, but taking this example I believe we can see the greatness and goodness of God.
We can get caught up with why something is not happening in our lives or why we have to face hardship or why, why, why. We look at our brother/sister in Christ who doesn’t seem to have to deal with this stuff and we think, “God, You’re being unfair. Why do I have to go through this?”
He knows the innermost parts of your being–every cell, every strand of DNA.
For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. –Psalm 139:13-14
That means you can trust Him to take you down the perfect path at the perfect time and it won’t have anything to do with what He’s doing with anyone else.
We should be thankful. God is definitely not fair, but He is exceedingly good.
His thoughts toward you are incredible and outnumber even the sand on the seashore. Breathe that in. He’s taking His time because He knows you and that’s why He doesn’t deal with you exactly the same even in similar situations to someone else. He is so good.
What are your thoughts? Do you find yourself trapped in comparison (either in the negative or positive)? Do agree that it’s good that God is not fair?