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God Is Not Fair (Why That’s Good)

Parenting books are amazing, but parenting books stink.

Why the ambivalence? Because though authors and experts have many great ideas and research to back up what they’re saying, these things can come off as one-size-fits-all approaches to parenting that can be confusing and/or harmful.

Kids are individuals and sometimes as a parent you’re going to look unfair. I don’t see any way around it because each of my kids has different personalities, abilities, needs, likes and dislikes… They are different and–forgive my crazy talk–my wife and I don’t treat them exactly the same, discipline them the same, respond to them the same.

We love them all equally and abundantly, but they have to trust us when we allow one to do something another can’t or discipline one with a punishment that wouldn’t work with another.  They are individuals who are uniquely made by God. We have to treat them as such for them to flourish.

I wrote about equality from the human perspective, but taking this example I believe we can see the greatness and goodness of God.

We can get caught up with why something is not happening in our lives or why we have to face hardship or why, why, why. We look at our brother/sister in Christ who doesn’t seem to have to deal with this stuff and we think, “God, You’re being unfair. Why do I have to go through this?”

He knows the innermost parts of your being–every cell, every strand of DNA.

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. –Psalm 139:13-14

That means you can trust Him to take you down the perfect path at the perfect time and it won’t have anything to do with what He’s doing with anyone else.

We should be thankful. God is definitely not fair, but He is exceedingly good.

His thoughts toward you are incredible and outnumber even the sand on the seashore. Breathe that in. He’s taking His time because He knows you and that’s why He doesn’t deal with you exactly the same even in similar situations to someone else. He is so good.

What are your thoughts? Do you find yourself trapped in comparison (either in the negative or positive)? Do agree that it’s good that God is not fair?

 

12 Comments

  1. I’m so glad that with God I am an individual and not part of the collective herd. Each of us is valued beyond measure!
    TC Avey recently posted..NotificationsMy Profile

    • It really is incredible when we consider it! Thanks so much, TC.

  2. I try real hard not to compare myself to others, but sometimes I can’t seem to help myself.

    We are created uniquely with divine purpose. No two of us are the same.
    Dusty Rayburn recently posted..Complete, Passionate, Earnest Trust: FaithMy Profile

    • Just like children do, it seems so natural to compare between siblings, between families. We just see the fruit of it is no good. Thanks Dusty!

  3. This sentence does it for me: “That means you can trust Him to take you down the perfect path at the perfect time and it won’t have anything to do with what He’s doing with anyone else.”

    I constantly compare myself to someone else. What they have, I want. I wonder why so and so doesn’t seem to have any problems with their children, why they make more money than me, why they look better than me, and so on and so on.

    It’s a horrible way to live. I need to realize that God’s plan for me is perfect and tailored made just for me.
    Thomas Mason recently posted..Fragmented PiecesMy Profile

    • It IS a horrible way to live and God enables us through His grace to live differently and trust Him. I’m sure you know, but you are not alone, Thomas! We all face these comparisons and the pressure to get discouraged because of them. I just keep being drawn back to His amazing goodness and infinite love--that makes the difference. Thanks for sharing your heart, Thomas.

  4. With all due respect I’m not sure labeling God as “unfair” is fair? If He’s perfect, which we know He is, then He can’t be unfair. I know you were probably just trying to make a point and I agree 100% that He knows exactly what we need. If I’m going through something that another brother or sister isn’t, it’s because He’s preparing me or teaching me for His perfect reason.

    I have to say in most cases we all get way more than we deserve and are showed way more grace than can be counted.

    This is a good reminder for me to not say, “Why, why, why”!
    floyd recently posted..THE WISE MANMy Profile

    • I see what you mean, and I am trying to make a broader point. He is just in everything, but that doesn’t have to equal my or anyone’s idea of fair (which is what I am making the point about). I don’t really believe God is unfair any more than I believe I’m unfair for treating my kids as individuals. It’s the perception sometimes, but I can say “Praise God” that He’s not fair in my eyes or the world’s eyes because He’s standing for the perfect fulfillment of His word and the full manifestation of Christ’s Bride in the earth. We get what we don’t deserve and we don’t get what we do deserve--in both cases, PRAISE GOD!

      Hope that makes sense. I’m certainly not disparaging God in any way! Thank you, Floyd.

  5. I knew you weren’t, I know enough about you and your heart to know that would never be the case. Just clarifying, more for someone else than me. You know I appreciate the passion my friend.
    floyd recently posted..THE WISE MANMy Profile

    • So good to have people who know me well enough. And I seriously mean that! Thanks Floyd.

  6. The longer I live, the more I realize, that apart from Him I have no idea what I want or need. I can see what is working for someone else; and if I try the same thing, I will most likely fail misearably because that was their need and not mine.

    He was gracious and merciful enough to give us examples throughout the Bible that show that He provides different things for individuals. I think if I truly ask each day for my daily bread, I will never have lack and never have to worry about recieving what I personally need.
    Philip recently posted..He SpeaksMy Profile

    • Yeah, that daily bread is perfect provision. Great thoughts, Philip. Thanks.