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I’m Not Popular

I never have been actually. It’s not that I don’t have friends, but it’s always been a smaller group of close friends instead of 100 people.

I don’t have the charisma that makes everyone fall silent or gravitate toward me when I enter a room (virtual or “real”). I don’t command attention with my physical presence.

This blog is no exception. There have been times where I had more visitors and more subscribers and times I’ve had fewer, but I’ve never inspired a rabid “fan base” that would follow me anywhere. People come and people go for the most part.

Not that I haven’t tried to build something. I’ve read posts from other bloggers–“popular bloggers, of course– who shared with me the secrets of crafting your posts and presenting your blog so that everyone comments, subscribes, buys your e-book, and washes your car (maybe not the last one).

There’s nothing wrong with that–reaching more people and expanding your influence. I didn’t take all their advice, but I took what I could. In the end though, I felt kind of ragged and rundown.

As long as I would keep it all up and going a mile a minute, I would see some slight results (nothing drastic), but once or if I stopped, I would see an immediate decline.

I’ve come to the conclusion that besides not acting popular, I don’t think like a popular person.

I know you’re supposed to be topical–like weigh in on the royal wedding or the death of Osama Bin Laden, but I rarely even consider writing about such events (and I’m not saying that those who do are only trying to be popular). The problem is I’ve too many times equated popularity with perfection or as my goal. That’s in life, in blogging, or anything else. But I’ve worked like a maniac before and still not become popular. That perfectionist streak can throw me off quickly. It’s not realistic.

What happens is that my sense of worth inevitably gets tied up in how ‘successful’ this project or that project is. For biblical self-worth, we need to see ourselves, others, and God correctly.

4 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. –Romans 12:4-5 (Emphasis Mine)

If you’re the kind of person who attracts people in life or to your blog without even trying then God bless you. There have been times in my life (and probably again later) where I’ve been jealous of you for this, but it doesn’t change what God has called me to do or be (or you).

We do all belong to each other.  Nowhere in scripture does it indicate that the pastor with the biggest church wins, the bloggers with the most subscribers overcomes, the person with the most influence in business receives God’s best.

I already won, overcame, and received God’s best. Nothing can change that. I may never be popular by anyone’s standards, but I know God has touched people’s lives as I share mine and that’s all I can hope for.

I want excellence in all these things, but I can’t achieve something I’m not made to be. I’m not popular, and maybe for the first time, I’m really fine with it.

How about you? Are you the popular person or have you tried to be? What’s the result? Do you think everyone can be popular with hard work or do some just have a different calling/mindset?

Over at Faith Barista, Bonnie Gray is hosting a blog-and-comment discussion of “keeping faith fresh.” This week’s discussion is on dealing with perfectionism.


  1. There are times that I have so wanted for everyone to like me to be the popular guy, but I found it to be too much work. I know it’s cheesy and unoriginal, but I find it far less exhausting just being me, and the people I need tend to hang around that. If I write something and no one ever reads it, I am still satisfied with what God allowed to be poured out of me. I’m glad to be a part of your life and you in mine even if neither of us becomes very popular.

    • And that’s a very good thing. Thanks Philip. 🙂

  2. I had dreams of a popular blog at one time…and it’s always good to get feedback, to be encouraged, to be appreciated…But now: well, my blog is far from perfect, it hasn’t made me ‘popular’ (which is a good thing -- I’d never have time to keep it up!) -- so I just write for me. The things God gives me. And, sometimes, I just like to write little comments on other people’s wonderful thoughts. That’s good enough for me.

    • Well, I appreciate that, Angie! God bless. 🙂

  3. I’m a fan of yours anyways. I like the way that you think. I think popularity doesn’t really belong to the Christian, since we’ve all supposed to be low-keyed and not act like a clown…but then again, the rules have been broken once or twice. I’ve tried to be popular, but somehow it just never worked out, so I’ve stopped trying. Instead I’m secretly outgoing 🙂

    • Ed, you’re awesome! I’ve definitely decided that if a few people gather around for a great, meaningful conversation I’m much happier and better off anyway. And I’m not even secretly outgoing so you’re way ahead of me! 🙂

  4. Thanks for this post, Jason. I stopped caring about being popular awhile age because trying too hard becomes exhausting. 🙂 It seems that when I just focused on building real relationships rather than building fake, forced ones things became a lot more fluid. Sad to think that I used to try and impress people who didn’t care about me, didn’t want to know me more and we really didn’t even like each other. Those that are really close to me could care less about all the “stuff” that I’d put in the way… they just wanted to know ME more. And that’s the best feeling in the world-having people who genuinely want to know the real me.
    jackalopekid recently posted..I Want to Know YouMy Profile

    • Man, you are so right! We can spend so much time trying to impress people who don’t care anything about us, but there’s a joy in being who God created us to be and with those God puts as part of your life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!


  1. David Miles - Reading on Connecting to Impact - I’m Not Popular via @br8kthru
  2. Jason Stasyszen - Previously on Connecting to Impact: I'm Not Popular #archives
  3. Duane Scott - I'm Not Popular by @br8kthru ~ I'm not either, friend, and I'm okay with that. God bless you! l
  4. Jason Stasyszen - RT @duane_scott: I'm Not Popular by @br8kthru ~ I'm not either, friend, & I'm okay w/ that. God bless you!…

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