Like so many other words, emptiness conjures up vivid images. There are certainly negative connotations and feelings associated with it. I felt them when I first heard that this would be the topic for this edition of the One Word Blog Carnival (go check out all the entries).
The word is very personal to me, the more I think about it, and very relevant to where I am today. I shared last week that over two years after our adoption finalized, we have two new foster children in our home. In fact, I’m holding our new little one year-old boy now as I type this.
I think about the reason we decided to do foster parenting in the first place. Simply put, it was emptiness. My wife and I had been trying to have another child after our first son and just couldn’t. Infertility was and is a terrible emptiness. Even though I empathize, I can’t even begin to imagine how my wife has felt through this process. She tries to explain, but I’ll only ever understand a taste of hers and my side of it.
All that aside, we knew the emptiness together. She had always wanted a house full of kids and month after month that dream was denied and crushed all over again. This led to a lot of crying out and seeking God. Some friends we knew were going through the process to become foster parents and though I was hesitant, I knew we couldn’t let emptiness define our lives so we trusted God was leading us and gave it a shot.
Sometimes you wonder if fullness is harder than emptiness. We were stressed, overworked, undercompensated, brokenhearted, mistreated, unloved many times, and wondering if this were really the path we were meant to walk. Was it really worth it?
We fought and stood on heavenly promises through it all. We saw little ones flourish in a loving house filled with prayer and God’s presence and became testimonies to social workers and broken parents alike. Children way too young to experience the brokenness they were living saw tremendous physical and emotional turnaround. This is not even mentioning the two little ones who became permanent members of our family and bring us joy every single day.
Lives were inarguably changed forever–theirs and ours.
What I realize now as I stare into the eyes of this new amazing child in our house is that the emptiness was never one-sided. They hadn’t planned on losing their parents (even for a season) just like we hadn’t planned on not being able to have more children.
There’s a hole in them and we may not be able to permanently fill it, but we can do good enough and trust God in the process (for them and us). People can’t tolerate emptiness and I don’t think God designed us to. Some fill it with drugs and alcohol. Others with sex and meaningless relationships. Others still with religious piety and strict rule-following.
The only thing that will actually take the emptiness away is love, and the only love that doesn’t fail is God’s. I find myself telling these two little boys “I love you” every chance I get. Partly, it’s because I believe they need to hear it but also I feel like, in some way, I’m speaking for God.
No matter the emptiness or its level, He keeps on saying “I love you” whether in whispers, shouts, or melodious songs. The voice may just be coming from another empty person who has chosen to love and be faithful in it.
When there’s hope, emptiness doesn’t defeat. It just means “waiting to be filled.”
No, I’ve decided when you remove all the negative, reactionary emotions that emptiness isn’t bad. Emptiness is nothing more than a tool–completely neutral–but it can lead us to some indescribably beautiful places.
49 Comments
Jason, this is an incredibly inspiring post. The Lord will certainly bless you most abundantly for your loving heart. I pray that you and your wife will know a fullness of love exceeding your highest hopes.
Thank you Anne. I appreciate your comment and prayer. We are so blessed!
Turning a word around well!
Thank you Kathleen.
Excellent entry today. I've never thought of people filling themselves with strict rule-following but now that you mention it, it makes sense.
In God's hands, emptiness begets fullness. He started with a void — and then filled it. Beautiful post, Jason.
Emptiness just means "waiting to be filled" .
What an awesome thought!
I appreciate your explaination of emptiness, especially today. It is like taking a deep breath. Thank you.
What a powerful post. And what a gift you and your wife are to the world
thank you for taking care of 'the little ones' no one else is caring for — for whatever their reasons. Thank you.
Very powerful post, Jason.
"Partly, it's because I believe they need to hear it but also I feel like, in some way, I'm speaking for God."
Keep speaking for God. I read it in your blog post too. There is nothing that pains me more than seeing children in homes where children should never be. Thank you for providing a refuge and secure home for those boys.
Thanks Denise.
I love this thought- thank you Glynn!
I appreciate it, Dusty!
Thank you for the encouragement, Tricia. Blessings to you…
Thank you Louise. At least for my part, I feel like I've stumbled into something significant. God uses this for us and these kids. It's amazingly powerful…
Thanks Duane- I appreciate the encouragement.
Beautiful heart-wrenching post. I know your wife's pain. God's plans are so much higher than ours--and now He's filling you to fill the emptiness in others.
Emptiness means waiting to be filled. Yes!
Oh, Jason, this is so touching! What a lovely twist to emptiness. It sounds like your cup now runneth over! Blessings to you and your sweet family!
Jason, your post touched me on a very deep personal level. Your authenticity were the "empty" words missing from the equation in my adoption story. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Sandra.
Lynn, yes, that cup is overflowing and it's only scary sometimes! Thank you.
I really appreciate that, JoAnne. Thank you.
wow….this is just amazing and inspiring. What a gift you are giving to these children, opening your heart and home. May you continue to give and receive in all the blessings God has in store for you.
Also amazing how God works by bringing me here today. Josh and I have struggled with many many losses over the past four years and now as another birthday is approaching, I must face the real possibility that I am closing the chapter of my childbearing time.
I know we are blessed with the children we have, but my heart has always had this image of more children are "supposed" to join our family. I feel the pain of emptiness in so many ways and we have recently started to talk about fostering/adoption.
Thank you Michelle. Fostering/Adopting is a hard but beautiful thing (especially if you do a foster-adopt). If you want any other information, I'd be glad to share our experiences with you.
In order to be filled, there must first be a void. What a beautiful way to fill yours. Such a touching post. Thank you.