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Which Voice is the Loudest?

It’s been a while. Yes, teaching and grading (oh my, it’s neverending) have threatened to get the better of me, but in reality, I and my family have been processing other things.

Toward the end of September, the little foster girls who had been with us for two years went to live with another family. After much prayer, we felt this was God’s direction, but that didn’t (and in some sense, doesn’t) make it any easier.

It’s hard to walk with kids through some of the most difficult moments of their lives and then suddenly, they’re gone. It’s not a closed door in this case where we may never see them again, but obviously, it’s not the same either.

I’ve grieved and let go. I seem to be moving forward then I have a dream about one of them and wake up crying (happened to me this past weekend).

You can also add in another ongoing situation with another child that I can’t get into here, but it certainly feels overwhelming.

It can be easy to look at what’s hard and give up. You can doubt your resolve or abilities, doubt other people, even doubt God’s faithfulness–but these are not the only voices to heard.

“We view our slight, short-lived troubles in the light of eternity. We see our difficulties as the substance that produces for us an eternal, weighty glory far beyond all comparison, because we don’t focus our attention on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but the unseen realm is eternal.” –2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (Passion)

Your emotions won’t relent. Your anxiety rears up. Your loss is palpable.

Not only do these cry out in a bid for dominance, but the weight of His glory also cries out to be experienced. If you’re not careful, you’ll miss it.

What is seen is only one side of the coin. If you fixate on it, you get stuck. If you listen to the cry of His glory, you still experience the pain, loss, and grief; but it’s in the light of redemption and eternal truth.

As hard as these couple months have been, I also determined I would not have given up the time we did have, the advancements made, the joy experienced, or tears shed because I know God’s hand was in all of it.

There’s a song that I’ve always liked but has come to mean more to me through this process. It’s called “So Will I (100 Billion X)” by Hillsong United.

I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender so will I
I can see Your heart eight billion different ways
Every precious one a child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I

Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind

Whatever you find yourself in today, I pray you choose love over self-protection. Choose to listen to the cry of His glory He desires you to experience rather than what pain screams in your ear.

It’s a process, but it’s worth it. Jesus offered His life in love and continues to offer to the hurting, broken, and forgotten–how can we not do the same?

What are your thoughts? How have you experienced God’s glory in the midst of trying times?

4 Comments

  1. When I had two bicycle wrecks in 4 months time-one a hit and run and the other far more devastating-it would have been easy to shake a fist at God and claim “no protection.” But I chose, instead, to use it as a clear tap on the shoulder that it was time to straighten up. I hunkered down with God. Got serious with Him and Jo and decided I would take it as a new starting point. I haven’t regretted it one iota. Feel sad for you in losing the girls but know you loved them as best you could and they will not forget that.
    bill (cycleguy) recently posted..ServingMy Profile

    • Man, I know you have gone through it, Bill. Thanks for leading by example that trials can be a new beginning if we get hold of our awesome God. Thanks so much.

  2. Jason, your voice of wisdom has been sorely missed during your absence from your blog. Yes, my friend, you have been through, and are still going through, so much as a family at this time. Did you know I’ve been praying for not just you, but your family during your absence? God nudged me in that direction, giving me the sense that something was amiss, and that you all were hurting. He is such a good, good Father. May He wrap you all in His arms of love.
    Blessings!
    Martha J Orlando recently posted..Mr. LyftMy Profile

    • Martha, I am definitely blown away at God’s love and care with what you’ve shared. Thank you for being sensitive to Holy Spirit and praying with us. I appreciate you immensely! Thanks again.

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