Seeing Significance: Rejection’s Sting
Recently my son got a cut on his hand in the midst of playing, my wife was trying to clean it out with peroxide and he was going nuts that it would hurt and he didn’t want to do it. He was in hysterics by the time she finally got the medicine on there, so mad at her for “hurting” him.
Of course, the reality was that he hurt himself. He had anticipated pain and that’s what he received. His perception became reality.
Another symptom of our fear of rejection is our inability to give and receive love. We find it difficult to open up and reveal our inner thoughts and motives because we believe that others will reject us if they know what we are really like. Therefore, our fear of rejection leads us to superficial relationships or isolation. The more we experience isolation, the more we need acceptance. –Robert McGee, The Search for Significance
Like my son, we want to run away. We want to protect ourselves from getting hurt. There is pain in relationships for sure, but if we go into every encounter looking for rejection, that’s what we’ll get out of it.
Every one of us has to make the choice. We can reach out for the hope and strength we need or adopt a “Reject them before they can reject me motto. What we don’t realize is that it’s crushing us.
Every one of us needs to know acceptance and love. We all have wounded parts that are begging for healing, but the more they are covered the more they fester and grow worse.
I’ve certainly wanted to isolate myself for protection, but it just never works. I’m rejecting exactly what I need even though I can’t see it.
God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. –1 John 4:17-18 (The Message)
If we are going to live a life of love in God, it will involve real relationship with others. You may not feel like you can trust them yet, but maybe you can make the decision to trust your Father.
What are your thoughts? Have you battled a fear of rejection? Or what do you tell those that do?
I am currently rereading The Search for Significance by Robert McGee (disclosure). It’s an incredible book about “seeing your true worth through God’s eyes.” I have written several posts previously if you’d like to check them out, but it’s just a quote of a sentence or two and a simple discussion.