Several weeks ago, I was being eaten alive by my own choices. I didn’t fall into some horrible sin. I didn’t decide to walk away from God. All I was attempting to do was carry something.
For those wondering, I don’t mean a physical carrying. I mean a spiritual one, and on the surface, it made sense. There is a horrible situation that affects people I love very much based on some incomprehensible (at least to me) decisions made by one of these people, and I felt the intense weight of the whole thing. What’s the big deal if I want to carry this?
For one thing, I was mentally anguished and irritable most of the time. Besides that, I found myself with constant back pain. I went to the chiropractor, had a massage–relief never lasted longer than thirty minutes. I woke up and went to sleep with it. I also had breakouts on my face to the point I started to feel like a teenager again (you know, the part none of us liked).
It was all under the premise that I was helping and standing for these people who desperately need a touch from heaven. The truth is I was beyond stressed.
That all changed when I was jogging one day, listening to a sermon. God interrupted my thoughts by speaking to me, “You don’t have the right to carry this.”
Yeah, it sounded and felt exactly like a rebuke. I stopped in my tracks and repented right there. I don’t know if it was immediately, but soon after my back pain left (and hasn’t returned) and my face completely cleared up. My mental and emotional state is better too. I realized that I couldn’t change the situation or the person I was concerned for. The only thing I could control was my response.
I had to choose to forgive this person. Then I could pick back up the life and awakening that He has called me to carry.
Matthew 11:28-30 is probably very familiar to you,
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
It’s His yoke. He invited you and me to it. We can’t carry whatever we want to carry, however we want to carry it. It may look spiritual, but it’s deadly to our health in every sense of the word.
It may not be easy to walk where He has for you to walk sometimes, but He is carrying it with you. To walk in His yoke, we have to come to Him. When we go our own way, we suffer through trying to carry the weight and stress by ourselves and it affects us in big and small ways.
You aren’t your own–you’ve been bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). You aren’t like everyone else in the world. You aren’t allowed to stay upset and obsess about whatever you want to. You have something to carry. It’s a word of life and truth. It’s a message of hope and forgiveness. You walk in peace and reveal His rest.
You may think you have every right to carry that thing, but you would be wrong just like I was. The good news is repentance is quick and powerful. We return to what will really affect the world, change situations, and turn people’s hearts–living the truth and light of the Gospel in the love of Christ.
That’s the miracle I’m standing for now, and I know it’s where I’m called to stand.
What do you think? Have you felt the effects of carrying something you were not supposed to carry?