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Are You Sure You Want to Go There?

My mind is a dangerous place. If you dip a toe in, you may just get carried away into a murky abyss (or reruns of I Dream of Jeannie). I say this as a warning for the faint of heart, and also to introduce a post that will be included in my friend’s blog carnival, Duane Scott Presents Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays.

I’ve thrown out a few nuggets of randomness in the comments section over there, but I thought at least for this week, I’d give you a glimpse into the cream style corn that is my brain.

By the way, does anyone like cream style corn? I haven’t had it in years, but the sight of it makes me want to gag. I used to like it, but I’ve found that it goes against a very important principle I have in which I won’t eat a food item that appears to have been regurgitated by someone else. It’s common sense.

“Common Sense” was a pamphlet written by Thomas Paine before the American revolution, challenging the authority of the British government. Pamphlets in those days are sort of like blogs these days. People would express themselves, their beliefs and opinions, and there were lots of videos of cats doing crazy things. Note: that last thing may or may not be true.

I’ve never seen the musical Cats but the whole idea sort of creeps me out. On the other hand, I used to watch Thundercats when I was a kid and that was awesome! target=”_blank”>Thundercats, HO! Speaking of cartoons from my childhood, did you know there is a Smurfs movie coming out sometime in the future?

For some reason, people used to say things about the church I grew up in. One of the things they said was that we “sacrificed smurfs.” I was maybe 10 years old thinking, “they know smurfs aren’t real, right?”

Then hilariously in the middle of our sanctuary an ink pen had burst and the stain wouldn’t come up. What color was it? Blue, of course. I like to joke that that is the spot where we sacrificed the unsuspecting blue creatures (I’m a little sick, but Jesus loves me anyway).

Sometime I would like to see a show by the Blue Man Group. I’ve been to Las Vegas, NV a couple times now and there’s a huge video screen promoting the show (and others) in the airport. You seem to wait for your bags a long time so you watch the same promos over and over again. I think they do it on purpose to brainwash you into buying tickets.

I’ve had two speeding tickets in my life and neither have shown up on my insurance. My wife sold knives in college (another story all together) with other mostly college students. One of her fellow salespeople was studying to be a lawyer and told her that if you ever get a speeding ticket, pay a dollar or so over. The courthouse can’t accept the overage so they have to send a refund. As long you never cash the refund, it stays in the system and off your record.

Not necessarily proud of it, but this is what I did (never got a refund in the mail though). Also, now that this is on the Internet, it must be true.

Duane ScottOkay, I’ve got to stop now. I could keep going, but I’m making me tired so I’m sure you’re head is spinning. Plus you’re probably thinking, “this guy has got to be an awesome volleyball player.” That, I am.

In the comments, feel free to answer any of my rhetorical questions above or give me something completely random. If you want to read other pleasantly disturbed posts, then head over to Duane Scott’s Fine Used Carpet Emporium (and blog).


  1. Asking for comments reminds me of this quote:

    “Remember this, you fools, and remember it well. I will command, and you will obey!” --Luna on a power trip in Hachiman’s Honor

    Sacrificing Smurfs…I’m OK with that…loved the flow today bro’

    • I don’t know what Hachiman’s Honor is, but I think I need to check it out! As for the smurfs, why do people say things like that? Just bizarre. Thanks Jay!

  2. I’m mortified. 🙂

    Love the ramble.
    Dusty Rayburn recently posted..Deliver MeMy Profile

    • It isn’t easy being me, but someone’s got to do it. 🙂 Thanks Dusty.

  3. Blue Man Group was an amazing show.. caught it more than 12 years ago back when I still lived in the Chcoago area. Very, very blue indeed
    HisFireFly recently posted..A place of restMy Profile

    • Well, I would be very disappointed if they were only blue for the first half of the show. 🙂 Thanks Karin.

  4. My Dad wouldn’t let us watch the Smurfs because of the dude on there that cast spells. So thank you for bringing up such a painful moment from my past. Okay, it actually wasn’t a painful moment. I got over it pretty quickly, mostly because I was sorta creeped out by the fact that there was only one girl smurf but somehow there were a whole bunch of little smurfs. How did Smurfette keep her girlish figure? And from smurfs to the Blue Man Group? Jason, I think you’re obsessed with the color blue. What does that say about you? Do we need to stage an intervention? I love you enough that I would be willing to do that if it’s necessary…
    Sarah Salter recently posted..When You Believe in God but Still Worry All the TimeMy Profile

    • Honestly this may have been the origin of the rumor because our pastor had said from the pulpit that he didn’t like them (for the spells and only one girl). If you gathered that I’m obsessed with ‘blue’ from this, then logically I must be obsessed with cats, tickets, etc. No, this is just the crazy way my mind works… 🙂

  5. Why do I feel when I am reading yours and Duane’s randomness I am reading the product of an ADD mind? LOL It hurts my brain to follow you guys. But I love the creativity.
    Bill (cycleguy) recently posted..Giving God PermissionMy Profile

    • I am ADD.

      I diagnosed myself when I was bored once.

      True story.
      Duane Scott recently posted..New Blog Button for ThursdaysMy Profile

    • Ah, if it hurts you to follow then think what it must be like to be trapped in here! 🙂 Thanks Bill.

  6. My uncle sometimes stays with us. He has been begging me for years to make cream styled corn. I refuse, because the look and smell of it makes me want to vomit.

    Sacrifice smurfs? I think that rumor says more about the people spreading it than it could possibly say about the Church.
    Helen recently posted..Pleasantly Disturbed Thursday- Toys- Toddlers- Tea- and HatsMy Profile

    • I honestly can’t believe that I ever ate it at one point. The thought turns my stomach now!

      And the smurfs thing? I think you may be right! Thanks Helen.

  7. I didn’t know Duane ran a used carpet emporium, but he does seem like a pretty rugged guy.

    I don’t like cream style corn, either.

    Cartoons when I was growing up: Bugs Bunny, Jetsons, Road Runner, Flintstones, Top Cat, Yogi Bear, Rocky and Bullwinkle.
    Glynn recently posted..Lament WhatMy Profile

    • HA! I heard that.
      Duane Scott recently posted..New Blog Button for ThursdaysMy Profile

    • To be fair, I’m only assuming about the used carpet emporium (on account of the ruggedness, of course).

      I watched all those cartoons too, but I didn’t get the jokes until I was in my late teens. They’re actually very funny! Thanks Glynn.

    • Pinky and the Brain?? I LOVED Pinky and the Brain…
      Helen recently posted..Pleasantly Disturbed Thursday- Toys- Toddlers- Tea- and HatsMy Profile

      • YES! Pinky and the Brain was wonderful. I actually loved the whole Animaniacs show (for the most part). If you love random zany cartoons, you should check out Freakazoid -it’s made by the same people and follows a crazy superhero on his adventures. I want to buy the DVD, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. 🙂

  8. I think I really need to get involved in these Randomly Disturbed Thursday postings. Awesome stuff Jason. I too loved Thundercats, great reference. I too have distaste for cream style corn. It reminds me of my son’s diapers. And thanks for the tip with the speeding tickets.
    Ryan Tate recently posted..The complete list- 1-000 thingsMy Profile

    • Whoa, did you have to go there with the diapers? That takes it to a whole new level of disgusting! 🙂 And if so many people find it repulsive, who is buying this stuff? They still make it so someone is!

      Thanks Ryan.

  9. Okay. I spewed coffee onto my arm when I read the Blue Smurfs comment. Man! I love those little guys. 🙂

    You are so good at this! If you don’t continue writing these the world is not going to be as good a place. Everyone needs humor. 🙂
    Duane Scott recently posted..New Blog Button for ThursdaysMy Profile

    • I don’t know if the world can handle all the randomness, but I will definitely write another. It may not be every week though. I’d have to start distributing Tylenol to people before they read. Thanks for the ‘great’ idea. 🙂

    • Duane, you’re a Smurf lover???? I totally just lost respect for you, man.

      JK. I still love you. Mostly.

  10. But… what about the Cheetos?
    Lainie Gallagher recently posted..Pleasantly Disturbed ThursdaysMy Profile

    • I know it’s blasphemy, but I think Cheetos are fine but they’re not my favorite *flinching and waiting for the first stone to be cast* -I hope we can still be friends though! 🙂

      Thanks Lainie.

      • Fine? FINE? Did you really just associate that “adjective” with the Cheeto? *shudder*

        You can be my friend, but only the sort that I don’t hang out with very much for fear of corrupting my character. No, you will stay on the fringes, where I will be polite and send Cheeto messages every now and then as I pray that you will see the light.

        Cheeto Power!
        Lainie Gallagher recently posted..Pleasantly Disturbed ThursdaysMy Profile

  11. Okay, but what if I dip a Cheetoe in? Then what will happen? This is the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night.
    Wendy recently posted..A Touched StoryMy Profile

    • NO! Now you’re sounding like Katdish. Cheeto never has an “e,” even then it’s plural.

      Otherwise, I don’t understand your comment. Dip a Cheeto in what?
      Lainie Gallagher recently posted..Pleasantly Disturbed ThursdaysMy Profile

      • Dip a Cheeto in my brain…. Geez, there are some things you just never think you’ll type--EVER--then lo and behold…

    • Dipping Cheetos in is strictly verboten! There is actually a posted placard somewhere near the hypothalamus stating as much. Let’s just say it would open a vortex of terror, the likes of which the world has never seen… or something like that.

      • I have, on more than one occasion, melted cheese on my Cheetos. Not the same as dipping, but in the same family.

        Lainie Gallagher recently posted..Pleasantly Disturbed ThursdaysMy Profile

        • You are slightly obsessed. We may need to stage a Cheeto intervention, Lainie. 🙂

  12. Disturbed you say, huh? Just found out now that you are. I wonder how many people are like you. And that Duane guy I read his disturbed post. I actually liked it. Does that say something about me? I don’t find myself disturbed. I’m just saying. I actually think you two are pretty well in putting words straight from your brains on paper (computer). That is a gift.

    About the corn we don’t eat them here. The smurfs, “Get ready for a surprise!” I liked the one who let boxes explode. Is it bad to say I liked gargamel and his cat? His cat never did what he wanted. I don’t think I leave a good picture of myself do I? Oh boy. But I still am a good girl. (I heard my niece tell this to her daddy after she did something bad but than she was 3).

    • I think you leave a very respectable picture of yourself. Then again, I’m a little disturbed so what do I know? 🙂 Thanks Ani!

      • Hahaha! You are not disturbed, you are crazy.

  13. I’m mortified too, but I love mortification. Mwaahaaahaaa!

    But Smurfs? Not so much. My Grandmother sported a Smurf Shadowbox in her bathroom. Totally creeped me out. They’re devil worshippers ya’ know.

    • Oh yeah! I forgot they were devil worshippers! And a ‘smurf shadowbox’ sounds all kinds of ominous and foreboding. Why would your grandmother keep something so evil around and in the bathroom no less?! 🙂

      Thanks Brenda.

      • If you knew my Grandma, you wouldn’t have to ask that. It’s just a Grandma thing to do. Kind of like taking me to lunch in a graveyard.

        Can we see why I love Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays? I might be just a tad over-qualified -- a gift from my Smurf lovin’ Grandmother.
        ~Brenda recently posted..pleasantly disturbed a beautiful day in the neighborhoodMy Profile


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