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Time to Get What You Deserve

Most people wouldn’t have known it from the outside, but for several months, I found myself eaten up inside. I was still functional, but it felt like I was spiraling. Still loved God. Still served Him and received from Him, but the overwhelming sense was heaviness (and it was different than I had known before).

Things have definitely shifted for me now, but there came a point where I felt so down on me. The enemy wants to tell you it’s pointless. You’ve blown it. You deserve your misery. I was in such a place one day as I ran my errands, praying as I went.

Even in the haze of all that negativity and harshness I felt, both from within and without, a thought entered my mind. It wasn’t like a bolt or some experience where I had to pull off the road, but it was an awakening.

“I deserve freedom…”

Even looking at it typed there, it doesn’t seem like much, but at that moment it was contrary to everything I had unconsciously been accepting. It was a place I couldn’t fabricate, but I had to arrive there with the aid of the Holy Spirit.

The same is true for you. Why do you deserve freedom? It’s not because you prove you feel terrible for your failures. It’s not because you show yourself to be an asset to God and His plans. It’s not because you attend the right church meetings, belong to the right family, were born in the right country, or any external reasons.

You deserve freedom because His love purchased it for you.

If you believe the lie, you refuse the gift for which He paid the greatest price. Amazingly though, it doesn’t end there. Just because you resist, doesn’t mean He gets angry, packs it up, and writes you off. No, He’s extravagantly pouring out love–loving you back to life.

It’s extravagant, it doesn’t make sense
We’ll never comprehend the way You love us

Bethel Music, Extravagant (Steffany Gretzinger/Amanda Cook)

Extravagant means

  • exceeding the limits of reason or necessity
  • lacking in moderation, balance, and restraint
  • extremely or excessively elaborate

Another source I saw had one word, unrestrained. How perfect! His love is fighting for you and all you have to do is accept it. It’s true and it’s real. No, it doesn’t make sense, but it completely rewrites the answer of what you deserve.

In light of His love, accept freedom. Go ahead and marvel at this love for a minute or two then give it all back to Him.

Here is all my love, it’s Yours / no conditions
When You pull me close, I won’t resist it

What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever struggled with the question of “deserving”? How has God shown you His love?

8 Comments

  1. I struggle with the word deserved a lot. I definitely understand your approach though. We deserve it not because of our deservedness but because Christ intended it for us and died to guarantee it to us.

    There is no reason for us to wallow in the mire of self-deprecation. That is a trap of Satan. The Father waits for us with arms wide open. He is not worried about where we have been or what we have done. THe thing that occupies his attention and action is that we have come home.

    Thanks Jason. Sorry I have been a stranger for so long, quietly lurking in the shadows.

    • I’m consistently overwhelmed by how much He loves us. And yeah, it’s taken me a while but I feel I finally have even the smallest grasp on the reality that it’s not my will power or strength or strategies that bring lasting freedom and change, it’s simply trusting in Jesus.

      And thank you Dusty. I haven’t been able to visit as many friends recently as I once did, but I definitely always appreciate your thoughts and insights. Thank you again! 🙂

  2. Nothing we could ever do or think or say can earn us the Father’s undeserved grace and love. We have true freedom when we embrace that fully.
    Blessings, Jason!

    • Yes! We must never lose the essence of the Gospel! Thank you, Martha--blessings to you!

  3. I love this song so much. I play it on the piano just about everyday. It is a constant reminder of who God is. Thank you Jason! God bless you!

    • It’s so good, right?! We need so many reminders of how much He loves and how great He truly is. Thanks Jaylynn.

  4. Amen, Jason. We have the Gift that earned and deserves it for us. Broken and ugly, He loves and delivers us. Wonderful reminder.

    • Thanks so much, Floyd. We refuse to believe how good He is and what He’s done for us, but it doesn’t change the truth of what He offers.

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