You Need Emotional Honesty
Several weeks ago, I experienced some severe spiritual warfare that left me feeling raw, vulnerable, blindsided. Scripture lets us know that we will face these things and His grace equips us. Still, in the heat of the battle, you can feel like you have no idea which way is up and you get turned around easily.
In the midst of this, I had someone say something to me that normally might not have meant much, but in that context, it felt like a knife in my heart. The way it was said and the feelings behind it felt like a 500 pound boulder crushing me.
I immediately launched into telling myself why this wasn’t a big deal, why this person didn’t really mean it, and how I knew I was in a spiritual battle. Hours later, I couldn’t shake it so I began to tell myself how silly I was for holding on to this.
“It’s not that big a deal, just let it go,” I thought. But I couldn’t.
As the night progressed and a hopelessness set in, I blew it completely then immediately felt horrible and repented.
The next morning I woke up with this thought from the Holy Spirit, “why didn’t you just own up to how you felt?”
It was in that moment that I understood how I had let things get out of control. Normally, it’s never that fast. Things fester and take time to build, but in that battle, it was as if everything was amplified and results/consequences were sped up.
What I realized is that in all my trying to excuse and justify myself and others, I never owned up to the fact that I was hurt by what was said. I knew I was, but I wouldn’t fully admit it to myself or God.
If I had, I don’t think I would have experienced the fruit of my unbelief and pride that night. My lack of emotional honesty cost me something.
If only I had remembered 1 Peter 5:6-8 (NASB),
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
By not casting your burden on the Father, you try to carry something that isn’t yours. It may not manifest in a day, a month, or even a year, but rest assured if you carry it long enough, you’ll have to eat the fruit of it.
It’s a humbling thing to acknowledge you can’t carry even what we consider the slightest of burdens and anxiety. You want to tell Him, “It’s okay, God. I got this one,” but there is one like a roaring lion prowling behind us and that load we carry makes us vulnerable to his attack.
Our Father loves us so much. He has better for us than trying to muddle through and carry what we weren’t meant to.
You may have trouble with being emotionally honest, but you need to see what’s at stake. You say, “oh, my family’s always been like this” or “this is how I’ve been my whole life.” Does that make it all right? Don’t you want to embrace the way of freedom?
I do. I want to remember this lesson and cling to the grace He’s beautifully portioned for me.
How about you? Have you had a hard time in the past being emotionally honest? Do you currently struggle with it?
I’ve learned much since the early days. Fear drives us and is even more potentially dangerous when we deny it. Fear of disrespect, insignificance, and failure are some of what the enemy uses to devour us. Good call. Not being honest with ourselves is the worst kind of dishonesty because it happens inside of us. Who we are before our Father is what matters… not to a scared world.
That fear is a seductive and subtle one, isn’t it? I know what you mean. It’s not worth it. We an trust Him with everything. He is good and gracious--always. Thanks so much, Floyd.
“By not casting your burden on the Father, you try to carry something that isn’t yours. It may not manifest in a day, a month, or even a year, but rest assured if you carry it long enough, you’ll have to eat the fruit of it.”
Yeah, and unfortunately it’s bad fruit. Just yesterday I got aggravated about something silly, and I shouldn’t have,especially considering the path the Lord has me walking right now.
Ed recently posted..Trusting in Him
I know what you mean. I can take hope in the fact that I’m not where I was and He’s still working on me. Thanks Ed.
Definitely can identify with holding onto something when I shouldn’t. Never really saw this in context with bearing fruit from it before reading this post. Great insight! Thanks Jason
Philip recently posted..Short Chapter, Short Post
You know honestly, it was the quickness that helped me see what was produced. Many times we don’t see the correlation, but I think it was just grace in this instance that God allowed it to happen rapidly so I could deal with it. He loves us so much! Thanks Philip.
This has been a struggle for me many times. Sometime I think it has a lot to do with pride. Me personally I sometimes feel like I should be stronger or my in control of my feelings instead of taking them to God and working through them. I have a tendency of sweeping my emotions under the rug with hopes that they will just go away in time. I have definitely learned that they don’t just go away.
It’s a hard thing, Vince. It’s even harder for us as guys, I think. We are taught that displaying emotions are not ‘manly’ to the point that we end up trying to sweep it all under the rug. There is freedom in Christ. Thanks for sharing, Vince.
I definitely think it’s been pride for me in the past. I must say that God has worked on me and most times I can own up to my feelings. I am human and not always able to do what is right at the moment. I’m just glad I have a Savior who is willing to take my cares and give me peace. Thank you for the wonderful article Jason!
Yes and yes! Thanks so much, Kathy.
HI Jason. I had the same thing happen to me a few weeks back, I couldn’t sleep all night and the next day I just kept going over and over what this person said to me. That night I was still thinking about it. I woke up at 4 in the morning and it hit me. all I had to do was own up to what he said and I immediately felt batter about it and I then knew what I had to do as well. Thanks for shairng Great reminder for all of us.. Chery
Chery Schmidt recently posted..Value Your Time And Energy Above All Else
It is a powerful tool God has given us, isn’t it? If we bring it into the light, it loses its power over us. Thanks Chery!